So this laptop is really making a statement. It’s superbly thin, wickedly fast and has an absolutely amazing display. But unfortunately, advertising for it has been mediocre.
If this is meant to push boundaries, people need to know, they need to get excited about it.
Most products people buy are marketed as a lifestyle choice they aspire to. This needs to be the lifestyle choice for anyone who wants a ‘leapfrog laptop’- in essence technology which is ahead of its rivals. For this reason, I gave it a tagline which played on the ‘Book’ concept. It gave it space to market itself as a fresh alternative in a market saturated with tired clones.
I tried to make the copy simpler and bolder in the message it conveyed.
I also attempted to simplify the message to such an extent that each sentence built up momentum for the next, which made the copy sound exciting and enticing.
Check out the before and after and make up your own mind!